5:13 PM - Sunday, Nov. 23, 2003
Gimme a baby
Two essays down, two to go. I am so sick of staring at my computer. Well, not really the computer. Just Microsoft Word. It seems like I'm in there way too much. I'm turning in my two finished essays tomorrow. Then I have to write one in class for English. After that I'll have one more English essay and I AM DONE! Tomorrow I have a math test and a math retest on Wednesday. Then I'm finished with that class. I have a book check in Psych and one more test. There's also one more Core test. That right there is the last of it. Only 2 more weeks and I am FREE! No more evil Core!
Alright, something is definitely a little off with me lately... Yesterday Dean and I saw Master and Commander. It was a really great movie. But a lot of the time I was focusing on the woman sitting in front of us. She had her baby with her. Let me tell you... that baby was an angel. It was nice and quiet the whole time. And it was the absolute cutest thing I have ever seen. Ever since I saw that little baby girl, she's all I've been thinking about. Sounds weird, huh? But I want that baby so bad! I was actually laying in bed last night thinking of the baby. She was just perfect!
Erin told me the other day that she keeps having dreams that she is pregnant. Now that is so strange... because I have dreams that I'm pregnant all the time. What is going on?! I think I need a baby. lol. NOW! I want the one from the movies... Okay I'm being weird... she was just beautiful. I want a baby now!
I was just thinking the other day... I'm fucking awesome. I'm not being conceited or anything... I've just had an unexpected rise in self-esteem. I don't even know why. I was just sitting here thinking, I'm pretty cool. I think it's because I don't feel so pressured anymore. I don't have to censor myself like I did in high school. I don't have to worry what my peers will think of me. I'm making good grades. I have everything I want. And I also have a huge religious weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't agree with a damn thing that my high school taught me. In fact, I think it's bullshit. Just saying that feels good. Why was I so worried about it?! I've got it all resolved and I feel great!! So there.
My new favorite thing is driving. Well, only driving Dean's truck. I had never driven it before because I'm too afraid. I can't drive anything bigger than my little Altima. The other day he let me drive. Now I'm addicted. I like being up high. For the past 2 nights we've been just been driving around...lol. I'm a dork. Wow I said "drive" like 47 times in that sentence.
Well I just found out that my aunt has a blood clot in her brain and there is nothing the doctors can do about it. What is it with blood clots lately? First Isaac, now my aunt. It's just crazy. Fortunately, Isaac will be okay. Unfortunately, my aunt won't be okay. Ya know, I'm about tired of going to funerals. I have been to a lot lately.
I watched Vacation and Beethoven today. Hehe. Two movies I used to love when I was little. Not really big into Beethoven anymore, but Vacation still rocks my socks. I think I'm going to rent Christmas Vacation since it's about that time of year. Oh I'm so excited! I can't wait to drive around (in Dean's truck of course) and look at Christmas lights. And it will be time to listen to Snowed In! Even though I listen to it year round, it's just more fun at Christmas.
Alright well I'm gonna go stare out the window and dream of that baby... lol. I'm just playing... yes... playing..... Lata.
